Initial shock

The period of initial shock during the days immediately following the sexual assault is usually the most emotionally intense: your life has been completely disrupted. During the hours following the assault, you may experience various emotions that may be contradictory, ranging from euphoria to depression. Here are some of the reactions and feelings you may experience during the first few days after your being sexually assaulted:

• anger and aggression, often directed towards your family and friends for no apparent reason
• intense fear
• shame and humiliation
• depression
• sadness
• frequent mood swings
• feeling that no one understands you and that you are alone with your problem
• less tolerance for situations that you see as a threat to your safety or physical integrity—such as not wanting to be touched or freezing with terror if a stranger asks you for the time
• feeling guilty about how you reacted during the assault—accepting an invitation, opening the door to a stranger, not defending yourself or crying for help
• feelings related to the loss of your integrity: feeling dead inside, feeling a loss of a kind of purity, feeling dirty, like something inside you has been broken
• disorganization and anxiety

The following physical symptoms may also arise as a result of a sexual assault:

• generalized or specific pain
• sleep disorders and nightmares
• loss of appetite, stomach pains, nausea

During this period, your behaviour — like your thoughts — may seem strange and unusual. You may try unsuccessfully to push away constant, relentless thoughts about your assault. You may, for example, replay the experience constantly in your mind, trying to see what you could have done or said differently, trying to understand why the assailant singled you out for his attack.

You may no longer recognize yourself. You may experience mood swings and overreact, feeling out of control with reality and no longer aware of what's going on around you.

You may want to be completely alone, not to go work or see other people, preferring to stay in bed and hide from the world. You may feel ill at ease in group situations, and may react very strongly when you see people who remind you of your attacker.

You may also have the completely opposite reaction, feeling extremely calm and in control. You may prefer to hide your emotions or want to be constantly in the company of other people. You may want to avoid being alone and be eager to return to your usual activities.